The Pixie and the Ladybug

We have a new family member, at least for a while. Pixie is currently carrying around a little plastic box with a ladybug inside. She literally snuggles the box, and has been heard to say, "I love my little ladybug!"

Kids...

The new things we learn whilst explaining...

Fiorinda's response below prompted me to respond to her, only I discovered that I'd been thinking... well, not thinking? Anyhow, here is an edited summary of what I learned from her question.

I think the only answer is that we do not grow from avoiding the challenges offered, but through trying, failing, and learning from our mistakes. I heard someplace that the people who are the best at anything become the best through practice, and that most of them started out bad at what they chose to do. They simply stuck with it and learned new techniques until everyone noticed how well they were doing... thousands of hours practicing.

IMO, it's not so bad for our kids to see us trying, failing, and trying again. It is a quality they will have to develop also. If at first you always succeed, then what's the use of trying again? I think what is hardest is when those around us give up FOR us. Then we feel pressured not to try harder, learn from our mistakes, and try again.

Truth be told, I'm not convinced my kids are actually harmed by my failures. Not permanently. If it were so, I'm sorry, but no one who had poor teaching early in life would ever overcome their situation. History has proven otherwise. Yes, it's a cop-out to rely on this for backup. I'm completely aware of my responsibility and my failure (thus the previous post). But... I am NOT the only factor here.

The fact is, my kids are curious. They know how to think. They know how to consider a problem and figure out a solution. They ARE learning to read, even if my methods do slow the process considerably. Once they know how to read, the main block to their progress is removed.

I am teaching them truths they won't get in school, like honor the Lord your God, even when you think you might get away with it. In a Christian school they will teach this, perhaps, but it remains true that a teacher with multiple students known for a year or two hasn't the same input as parents to whom the faults and natural tendencies of their children are already well known.

My children have other mentors as well. Their Sunday school teachers, grandparents, AWANA leaders, and several church family members who have taken particular interest in them.

Right now, two of my children are easily led by others. I've seen them misbehave in ways they would not at home just because the friend next to them in Sunday school is doing so. Five days a week of this sort of following would not be good for them. Until they can hold their own in Sunday school, I don't want to push them out into a longer-term situation.

So... while it is bad that my sins and slow learning are adversely affecting my children, there are negatives that will affect them on the other side, whether I go out and work to pay for someone else to teach my children their own perspective of life or do my best to teach them biblically myself.

BUT...

If it is right to send them to school, I'd better be open to the idea. I can't say, "I will not!" because if God leads that direction I'd better be ready to go. And sometimes, God's leading becomes apparent through my husband's decisions. He hasn't decided yet. We shall see what happens. I hope this is just one of those things I need to come to the point of releasing because I've been too prideful about it, rather than something God actually wants me to give up. I'd really like to grow in self-control through home school challenges rather than in the workplace.

Homeschool planning... and follow-through

We haven't even finished this year and already we're thinking about next year.

What will we do?
What is the best curriculum?
What is the best program?
Do we want to try to afford Christian school anytime soon?

And, the big question: What can Karen maintain through a whole year?

There is a high standard to which I am held, and quite frankly I fail miserably. I am confident that my children are intelligent (probably genius considering their dramatic survival of my lack of discipline), but the problem isn't good programs or workbooks, it's my ability to make sure school happens.

I don't expect a miracle of perfection.
I just want to keep up with things as I must if I'm not to fail my family and cause my children to live a miserable life marked by their inability to do what they should due to bad training.

So...

That's where I am. Even if I think I can do something next year, the past has proven that long-term discipline fails. I might do better, but history shows I won't.

I don't even know how to define the core problem in my character to begin facing it. Every day I think I'm trusting, turning, following, obeying... and every day I so clearly am not. Where is the growth? What is God doing in me?

I know my children shouldn't be in public school. Not here, anyway. This area is known for its poor discipline and nasty influences. Public school isn't happening.

Christian school is expensive, and while my kids might be able to handle school relatively well, there are areas where I'm sure they're behind their grade level... again, because they are harder for me to teach or the kid has a natural resistance to that subject, making it easier for me to get frustrated, give up, and decide to try again in a year to see if they are cognitively more developed. Actually, for the cost of private school, I could pay a tutor to come here and teach for several hours a day using the curriculum of my choice.

I'm just as frustrated with myself as anyone else is. *sigh* I handle my whole life wrong in this area of maintaining my schedule. If only there was a secret key to make me do it right! How can I repent of a vague feeling that I'm not doing the right thing? Which is the wrong, and why am I not noticing it and changing?

God help me.
The rest of you can pray.

Prayer request- From my brother in Indonesia

Earlier this afternoon (yesterday) a 9 year old daughter of a missionary couple with IMB here in Central Java died after falling into the river while following her mother home from school riding bicycles. Please pray for this family as this has got to be extremely difficult for them. The mother is taking it extremely hard and is feeling as if it were her fault. There isn’t much else that I can say except, please pray for them.

My Garden!

Uh, yeah, we still need to cut this up and burn what isn't salvagable.
We were gifted this pile by the previous owners.

Before and After--the kitchen!

The kitchen before demolition...
Lining up bead-board can be difficult in an old house that doesn't have straight walls, doors, ceilings...anything. FIL managed to make it look great!
After installing the new cabinets and priming... PINK!
The mostly final product! Lovely!
The fan from which the cabinet color was taken.
Where my spice rack will eventually go... it will be red, of course. Note the magnetic spice containers my cousin so kindly gave me! Don't they look great?
My tea and coffee cabinet. It will soon have shelving below the little counter also. Note the unfinished floor through the dining room door.

My camera has come back to life!

I'm so happy!

I just ran out and took tons of pictures. Once the kids rooms are clean (they are working on it) and my kitchen is clean (I am working on it) I'll take a bunch more and post my favorites... well, for those of you who are befriended on Facebook, you'll see the kids. The rest of you will get a before and after of my kitchen and a bunch of rabbit and garden pictures.

And, the camera story? I couldn't find anyone who would fix it for me, so rather than having a useless camera sitting around I decided to try and fix it myself. It worked. Except the protective lens that automatically closed is no longer attached to the camera. Maybe someone else can figure that out one day... I'm just happy it's taking pictures. Apparently it's not the worse for its trauma.

New household rule. No kids with camera, even if they plan to be very careful. I'd rather break it myself, thank you.