Resources that changed my thinking

I am, at most, an undisciplined person. At my worst, I'm just plain selfish and lazy. And I hate that about myself.

So... I'm always on the look out for resources that will miraculously transform me into a disciplined, generous and energetic servant to God, family and friends. Frankly, that particular search came up fruitless. God doesn't use resources to make those changes over-night. And, no matter how godly the advice, if I don't follow it then it doesn't do me much good.

However, God has been gracious to lead me to a plethora of amazing resources which have gradually, slowly, almost indiscernibly worked to change my heart and will. I obey God better now than I did ten years--nine, eight, two years!--ago, and hope that this change will continue (hopefully in a rocket-like fashion) to change and mature me into a worthy servant.

God uses those who go before us to disperse His wisdom in many ways. Often we learn from mentors or friends. But I would be remiss to ignore how much I have learned from the books His followers write about what He teaches them. But, through all these, you will find the ultimate resource for knowing God's will, and that is The Bible.

On to the resources:

More Hours in My Day by Emilie Barnes taught me how inadequate I am to control myself. Even with good tools and clear direction, I didn't even begin to improve. Obviously, not knowing how to organize my activities wasn't the root problem.

Christ-Esteem by Don Matzat began to open my eyes to how self-centered I really was, and how that compared to focusing on Christ. I learned it wasn't so much what I do, but what I am that brings sin into my life on the first reading, and began to more clearly see how that throws me on Christ's mercy in each subsequent reading. I imagine it's about time to read through again, in fact. Amazing how truth slips away from my awareness after a while.

The Lies We Believe by Dr. Chris Thurman pointed out a lot of faulty thinking on my part. I didn't learn as much as I could have about how to change perspective from Him. But the logs in my eye began to pain me greatly. I began, in fact, to accept that I was not only not right, but that I was wrong and sinful.

Beyond Our Selves by Catherine Marshall taught me to view the spiritual relationship with Christ as a tangible reality and not mere word and emotion. I began to see that Christ speaks to us all, and that I hadn't been listening for Him because I had chosen the way I felt He would teach me and looked only in that direction. I began to think about what was actually happening, instead of how things might go, and found that reality contains hard lessons alongside unexpectedly easy ones, but that God reveals truth in the incidental events of life especially when they're hard to bear.

George Muller's stories taught me that God is dependable and encouraged me to practice depending on Him more, instead of going out and getting what I desire for myself.

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace helped me to face up to my God-given responsibilities and helped me to study the specific Bible teaching that would change my heart to conform to His will.

The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whittall Smith taught me how to apply will, knowledge and decision into an act of faith. I found I could give up on myself completely, yet still take clear steps in obedience to Christ. I began to see the link between God's complete control and free-will. It is not as though I see clearly, but I have set foot on the invisible bridge and it is firm beneath me.

How to Overcome Evil by Jay E. Adams taught me what coals of fire look like in real life. I began to see how Christ's gift of His life for us came while we were still His enemies and working hard against Him. He gave up His life for a chance to save us, in fact, and not a guarantee that we'd let Him. And it is this same generosity and compassion I am called to enact for every person from difficult to evil that I happen to know.

Of course, this is not all of my books. I don't own all I've read, and I'd have a huge list if I presented everything I've studied, including some books by unbelievers. These few, however, I re-read as needed and find that each time I am called to search myself before God and turn to Him by studying His Word for how I am called to respond. What more can one desire of a book that is not the Bible?

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Postscript: Why you shouldn't give up on foolish people.

Even after reading most of these books several years ago, I still chose to jump into the natural consequences for a path of sin I had set myself upon with my thought-life when I was a young teen, thinking it was such a little thing and not at all like actually sinning. I hadn't taken any of innumerable chances to change that path, and finally God permitted me the chance to sin obviously in natural conclusion of my desires. I took it. And I discovered, finally, and for all time, that I am naturally and forcefully a sinner.

There is no doubt in my mind that if the circumstances are right and I am not within God's will or am weakened by a pattern of sinful thought, I could do any evil thing up to and including murder. I learned how well I lie to myself, and found out how blind I could be. I had actually persuaded myself that this sin would be a good thing for me! God was also good enough to make sure I realized right away that the sin wasn't good for me at all.

You cannot imagine the shame that consumed me when I saw what I had done after I had been found out and exposed to truth. And, so, the learning from these books was brought home in a new way as I reviewed and added more, trying to unlearn the sinful thought-processes and replace them with those which are right.

How gracious God is.